Some Confusion!

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We have some people at work that moved desks, and now they sit about 10 feet down from me.  One of them was on the phone and I overheard this:

"...Yes can I speak to Mr something?  ... Hello how--... no, nothing is wrong... I'm from [company] and I wanted to ask you--... oh, oh geez, I didn't know...  Geez, I'm sorry, I didn't know.... oh... so should I call back later?... OK... OK I'll call back later sorry."

The lady turns to her co-workers sitting near to her: "Oh my god y'all, did you know it is 3 AM in Australia right now?"

"Oh no, it is?  What'd you do?"

"I was trying to make a sale... he said he assumed someone was dead when he got the call."

"Oh my god!"

"I know oh my god!"

I laughed a lot.  Who could have guessed that a country half way around the world would have a timezone nearly 12 hours different than ours?  

Bye bye

Dear Science

Hello

TV On The Radio's new CD?  Kickass.  Check it out and check it out hard.  If you like good music you will love it.  It's much faster and 'funner' than their last CD.  Their last CD was great, and this is great too, just in a different way.  I couldn't define their last one, and I can't really describe this one but I'll try.... funky fun rock that hits you fast and hard?  

I dunno.  I can't see someone with an open mind that doesn't like it though.  If you don't like it you pretty much hate babies.  

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---PRO BABIES

Some Poop Stories

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There were not one but TWO uncomfortable poop stories today, and I will share them with you.

Poop story the first: I'm not good at talking to people. If I don't have something prepared it doesn't go well, and I tend to stutter a bit and freak. Every day conversation I consider 'ad-libbing.' You can imagine that's tricky. Anyway, a colleague was in a meeting today, and it lasted much longer than it was supposed to. Judging from peoples' reaction as they left (I could see them leave, I wasn't in the meeting) it was not an awesome time.

"Majnun, where's the poop!?" Hold your horses, I'm getting there.

So I plan on asking him the very simple question "Geez, how'd it go in there?" I prepare the question in my head and wait for him to get to his desk. But, he goes towards the bathroom instead! He's gone for about 10 minutes, so (here it comes) it must have been poop city. I get tired of waiting, so I head to refill my water bottle at the water fountain, which is right next to the bathroom.

I see him leave the bathroom and launch into my prepared question: "Geez, how'd it go in there?"

It was awkward.

Poop story number 2:
A lady comes in to clean the bathrooms and it's always when I'm in there. Never fail. I hate having to say "Occupied" when the cleaning lady knocks on the door and says "Cleaning!" I don't want to talk when I'm going to the bathroom. Anyway, today there was a stall that was ruined. It was clogged, and it had started to flood the room. Sucky. I was washing my hands after my urinal business and I was leaving the bathroom when I saw the cleaning lady. I was trying to be normal by saying something as I walked by her. So I ad-libbed.

"Man, enjoy that one, it's a doozy."

She looked at me very confused, and I felt like an idiot. I don't blush, but if I did I would have. I tried to make it better.

"No, I mean, not mine, someone else's."

More confusion.

"Um, I didn't even poop, I was all urinal, geez, I mean someone else must have done something with a toilet to clog it?"

Fortunately before I could keep talking and sounding stupid she mumbled that she doesn't speak English.

Hooray!

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Emmys

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John Hodgman was twittering from the Emmys. How neat is that*? I think these might have been the worst Emmys of my lifetime. The reality hosts understood that they are worthless human beings except for Howie Mandel, who seemed to think he was entertaining, and not just someone that tells bimbos to open a briefcase (after a 30 second cocktease). The thing is, there are oftentimes a host that is not as entertaining as he thinks he is. They usually don't take 15 minutes being not as entertaining as they think they are. You could tell he was going off script, and what that ends up meaning is actual entertaining people, or people who won an award (Mandel won zero awards) do not get their moment to say thanks.

That's a crime, in my opinion. It doesn't mean a lot to most people maybe, but to me the best parts of the Emmys are the parts where either an entertaining person wins, or someone who hasn't won before wins. Those moments were taken away from a few people because of Mandel. I was very happy for the people who stood up for actual entertainment that made fun of him, like Jeremy Piven and Neil Patrick Harris.

Besides Don Rickles and Stewart, Colbert, and Gervais, the people making fun of the 'reality TV' people were the best. Jimmy Kimmel, someone who I actually like, tried to stick up for the reality TV people. "You know that you watch them" he said. I don't watch them. I refuse to watch them. And I refuse to watch them so that I can support actual talent, that does something better than Ow My Balls.

Finally, on a shallow note, was there anything gross you've ever seen than Mary Tyler Moores' arms? She's a brilliant comedian and deserve all the respect in the world. But, damn, those were some nasty arms. If you think I'm being catty do a GIS I'm being true.

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*Very neat.

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Football and the Emmys

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Right now I'm watching Manchester United play Chelsea and I'm noticing the sponsor for Man U is AIG. Gives me another reason to root against Man U I guess. My team (Villa) already won so I'm good there.

In other football the Bills are playing the Raiders in a couple hours. As a Bills fan I think we should win by 40. As a more realistic football fan I think we should win by 14.

Look, I'm way into sports but what I completely go nuts for is award shows. I don't know what it is really but I gay the hell out. I love it. I love to get drunk and give toasts to the actors as they win their awards. I boo the ones I disagree with. I make myself tear up when they show the dead people from the year (Oh, Heath!). It's just wonderful, and I'm very excited for the Emmys. So be it.

Chelsea just scored. Right on.

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Georgians Come to Work

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Georgians came to visit today! We got an e-mail in the morning that said Georgians were coming to visit the place I work (I'm a consultant there, they make books, I write code). Probably so if Georgia ever gets schools they can sell them textbooks. They stressed in the e-mail that this is the COUNTRY of Georgia, not the state. And that the COUNTRY of Georgia is located "near Asia."

At first I thought this made sense to warn the employees about the difference, because in my experience most people hear Georgia and think State. This ended up not being necessary at all though, you could immediately tell the difference. For one, these guys were not chewing on straw or drinking moonshine. They also were not sitting on top of a truck or yelling "YEEHAH" which is something I've been lead to believe Stateofgeorgians do. They did have one thing in common though, which is the fact that I apparently can't understand a word either kind of Georgian says.

These Georgians were not what I expected. I think Eastern Europeans are super hot. I don't know if it is the starving (a lot of them are anorexics I guess), the glazed over eyes, the weird fashion sense or what, but I'm all about it. These Georgians were NOT super hot! One of them was at least 60. These ones did not look like the kind you see in the movies... it was more like the kind you see in the news.

If I had to summarize my experience with the Georgians it would be: Disappointing.

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The First Post

Hello

I am Majnun. I write about things that happened to me, things I would like to happen to me, or my opinion on things that have already happened. Or might happen.

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