There were not one but TWO uncomfortable poop stories today, and I will share them with you.
Poop story the first: I'm not good at talking to people. If I don't have something prepared it doesn't go well, and I tend to stutter a bit and freak. Every day conversation I consider 'ad-libbing.' You can imagine that's tricky. Anyway, a colleague was in a meeting today, and it lasted much longer than it was supposed to. Judging from peoples' reaction as they left (I could see them leave, I wasn't in the meeting) it was not an awesome time.
"Majnun, where's the poop!?" Hold your horses, I'm getting there.
So I plan on asking him the very simple question "Geez, how'd it go in there?" I prepare the question in my head and wait for him to get to his desk. But, he goes towards the bathroom instead! He's gone for about 10 minutes, so (here it comes) it must have been poop city. I get tired of waiting, so I head to refill my water bottle at the water fountain, which is right next to the bathroom.
I see him leave the bathroom and launch into my prepared question: "Geez, how'd it go in there?"
It was awkward.
Poop story number 2:
A lady comes in to clean the bathrooms and it's always when I'm in there. Never fail. I hate having to say "Occupied" when the cleaning lady knocks on the door and says "Cleaning!" I don't want to talk when I'm going to the bathroom. Anyway, today there was a stall that was ruined. It was clogged, and it had started to flood the room. Sucky. I was washing my hands after my urinal business and I was leaving the bathroom when I saw the cleaning lady. I was trying to be normal by saying something as I walked by her. So I ad-libbed.
"Man, enjoy that one, it's a doozy."
She looked at me very confused, and I felt like an idiot. I don't blush, but if I did I would have. I tried to make it better.
"No, I mean, not mine, someone else's."
More confusion.
"Um, I didn't even poop, I was all urinal, geez, I mean someone else must have done something with a toilet to clog it?"
Fortunately before I could keep talking and sounding stupid she mumbled that she doesn't speak English.
Hooray!
Poop story the first: I'm not good at talking to people. If I don't have something prepared it doesn't go well, and I tend to stutter a bit and freak. Every day conversation I consider 'ad-libbing.' You can imagine that's tricky. Anyway, a colleague was in a meeting today, and it lasted much longer than it was supposed to. Judging from peoples' reaction as they left (I could see them leave, I wasn't in the meeting) it was not an awesome time.
"Majnun, where's the poop!?" Hold your horses, I'm getting there.
So I plan on asking him the very simple question "Geez, how'd it go in there?" I prepare the question in my head and wait for him to get to his desk. But, he goes towards the bathroom instead! He's gone for about 10 minutes, so (here it comes) it must have been poop city. I get tired of waiting, so I head to refill my water bottle at the water fountain, which is right next to the bathroom.
I see him leave the bathroom and launch into my prepared question: "Geez, how'd it go in there?"
It was awkward.
Poop story number 2:
A lady comes in to clean the bathrooms and it's always when I'm in there. Never fail. I hate having to say "Occupied" when the cleaning lady knocks on the door and says "Cleaning!" I don't want to talk when I'm going to the bathroom. Anyway, today there was a stall that was ruined. It was clogged, and it had started to flood the room. Sucky. I was washing my hands after my urinal business and I was leaving the bathroom when I saw the cleaning lady. I was trying to be normal by saying something as I walked by her. So I ad-libbed.
"Man, enjoy that one, it's a doozy."
She looked at me very confused, and I felt like an idiot. I don't blush, but if I did I would have. I tried to make it better.
"No, I mean, not mine, someone else's."
More confusion.
"Um, I didn't even poop, I was all urinal, geez, I mean someone else must have done something with a toilet to clog it?"
Fortunately before I could keep talking and sounding stupid she mumbled that she doesn't speak English.
Hooray!
Bye bye
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